My Fast So Far

The other day I mentioned that I received a word from a friend and that I felt like I need to spend some time praying and fasting to get clarification of what it was God needed me to let go of. 

Well.. I've now past the half way mark on my fast with 3 days to go so I thought I would share how it's going. 

To begin with, previously I have found fasting difficult, I have tried it many times, but I think each time I've done it before I have never had a clear understanding of why I was doing it and I didn't really have as close a relationship with God as I do now, so this time round, I'm finding it much easier and I'm not struggling with temptation so much. So that for one is great, and demonstrates to me how much stronger in my faith I have become. 

But I guess what I really wanted to get out of the fast was an understanding of what the "hand brake" was that I had on in my life. I am pretty certain I now know what that is. It's a kind of addiction almost that I've had for a few years, that I've tried to give up many times, but have never lasted long. I have often made excuses for myself thinking it's nothing serious, it's not that bad, I can stop whenever I want but, the truth is... God has been talking to me about it for a while, and I've continued to go against Him, which makes it a sin, and sin seperates me from Him. I find myself asking for forgiveness each time I've done it which means I know in myself that I've done wrong... but I always found myself going back to it. 

I believe that this is holding me back. This is what is stopping me from getting further in relationships and in my walk with Him. Until I completely let go of it, and give it all to Him and trust that He has it in control, I am not going to be able to continue going forwards. 

So, now that I have discovered what this hand brake is, it's time to take it off, and remove it from my life. This is not going to be an easy task, as I said, I've tried stopping many times before, but I've always gone back to it. I guess one of the biggest things to remember is that when we are giving something up, it is a daily decision. It's not something I can say 'no' to today and then think that I'll never be tempted again. I have to choose to say 'no' every day. Some days will be more difficult than others, but as the days go by, saying no will become easier, and the temptation will go away. It's also going to require prayer from myself. For the strength to say no and for the faith to believe that I can get through it, and that He will help me through it. I have actually started saying no already this week and I plan to never say yes to it again. 

Thankful for: His voice

I'm thankful for His voice, that He speaks to us, that He tells us how much He loves us. I can't imagine going back to my life before I heard Him speak to me. My ears are forever open to hear His voice now.