My Blogging Begginnings

I was sitting in bed tonight, reflecting on the past few years of my life and realised just how much about me and my life has changed. It really amazed me at all the differences in my life, and I am blown away by the amount that I have learnt particularly over the past 5 years. Then I started to think about how much I must have forgotten. I have neglected to write down so much, so I thought to myself 'it's time to start a blog'. 

So here I am, I don't know where this will go or really if it will go anywhere. I don't know if anyone will read this, nor does it really bother me. This is my way of writing down and remembering all the small things God reveals to me as I continue my life with Him.

I want to start a new journey, a journey that will allow me to become closer to Jesus, a journey that will open my ears to hear Him as the Holy Spirit guides my way. It was almost 5 years ago that I accepted Jesus as my Saviour and decided to embark on this journey with Him, but up until now I feel like it's only been a half-hearted effort. I love Jesus, I serve Him but why? What has made me continue this life for the past few years? Until now, I really haven't been sure. I think a part of me stuck to it originally because I had a friend by my side all the way. She would take me to church, sit with me, and for once in my life I had a friend who wanted to help me with my fears in life. But when she left, something kept me there, something kept me from wandering from the life she had helped me find. I joined the worship team, it feels like home with them, so I know that's where I belong. But there have been times that I have thought about walking away, times when I thought things were just getting too hard, times where I just didn't know what I was doing or why I was doing it but... something has always kept me there. I think in my heart, I have always wanted to be closer to God, I have always wanted Him to be able to change my life the way that He wants to, but I have allowed the devil to build walls around my heart which has stopped me from getting as close to Jesus as I need and want to be. It's time to knock down those walls, it's time to really discover the person that God wants me to be, and it's time to give Him everything I am! No holding back, no more excuses. I know that this is what I want. I want to know His love, I want to experience Him in ways I have never experienced before, no more half heartedness. I choose to be in this completely!