Weekend Testimony

So I mentioned that I had gone on a weekend away with some women of the church and I have shared some of my testimony in more detail.

On the first night, we were asked to picture Jesus in the same room as us and take note of where He was. When I did a similar exercise about 18 months ago, the picture I saw was me in a chair in a dark room while Jesus was standing in the door way with bright light behind him, but something was holding me to the chair and I was unable to move. I think back then I was still so unsure about where I was, there were things in my life that were holding me back from everything that God had for me. Something was holding me back from being close to Jesus. I believe that I was not ready to accept the love that Jesus had for me, and I was stopping myself from getting close. However, this time when I did the same thing I had a completely different picture appear. This time we were in a lit up room and he had me in a great embrace telling me how much He loved me and how much He was proud of who I was. 

This was a great beginning to the weekend and was a sign of just how far I had come in my walk with God. I think a lot of this has to do with the last 3 months, which is when I made the choice to be in this 100%. I have dealt with a lot of things as they have come up, I have been more accepting of what God has for me and have been learning more and more about how much He loves me. 

During the Saturday we had a number of sessions to deal with issues about people we considered heroes in our lives, self-image, family hurts, unforgiveness and our own purity. Each session was amazing and things came up in my life that I had not yet dealt with. Memories of things that were said to me that had made me think things of myself that were not true and people that I had not forgiven that I didn't even realise had hurt me as much as they had. I received healing for these and the truths were reinforced in my life. 

The greatest thing about the weekend was that at all different moments during the day, God gave me more and more visions of me and Jesus confirming His love for me. There was a number of different visions I received: 

1. Jesus put me on His shoulders and proceeded to spin around in circles.

2. Jesus took hold of me and started to spin me around and around. 

3. Jesus and I danced toghether in the middle of a room. 

4. Jesus and I skipped around hand in hand.

5. Jesus and I were dressed in karate outfits ready to take on whatever came at us. 

I found each vision to show a very close relationship and often things one would do with their father. Well... Jesus is God, and God is my Heavenly Father. 

Before going on this weekend, I had doubts about His love, I had doubts about what He thought of me and I really wasn't sure I was on the right path. After this weekend, I know that He loves me, I know that He is proud of me, I know that He thinks I am great... I am perfect in His eyes and nothing will stop me from serving Him!

In the final session on Saturday night, I heard the words "joy" and "discipleship". I feel like God had filled me with a new joy, a joy that I could take into my life and into my community and share with others. This new joy is going to help in my discipleship of others. When people see the joy in my life from God, they may be drawn to it giving me the opportunity to share where my joy comes from.

Thankful for: His joy!

I'm thankful for the joy He has given me, the feeling that nothing can bring me down and knowing that even in the hard times Jesus is with me and He has the joy I need. It's a great feeling!